Am I truly doing what is right and preventing them from heading towards a no future path or protecting myself from further hopelessness? 

Spoken from one who did all to prevent and thankfully there are people who believed enough to help hence eventually left with still a part of it, but then again who am I kidding? Should something happen again, all fingers will point to thou since you are the ‘most senior’ and hence ‘the one in charge’ or so according to the previous head. 

And so indeed the hypocrite in me is doing all this to protect the little sparkle that is left ahead. And meanwhile performing a practical that is real time hopefully with some goodness obtained and not just plain failures without any learning.

Am I making any sense? I guess not but I hope that typing it out with the tears will help to ease the sadness welling up in me.